Wednesday, November 9, 2011

A new way to review - "The 2¢ Review"

I love to play video games. I love to talk about games. And I love to write about games. The problem is, is that I tend to run-off at the mouth. I'll look at old reviews and realize, "Geez, I just can't shut up!" While I do take pride on being thorough, I realize that it's really not what people want: an overly excessive review. So, I've decided to make a few changes. A format revision, if you will.

So, I came up with "The 2¢ Review". The idea is to provide a review for a game, but much more concisely than previous reviews, with my two cents thrown in.

Since I don't have the budget or connections as major reviewers do, I'm limited to games that I've researched enough and will probably like anyway. But I'm sure I'll find something to say about them, other than "OMG, it's awesome!"

Here's the link to the intro I wrote for Examiner. Check it out, and feel free to leave a comment here or there. And here are the links for the first two reviews that I've already written under the new format: Batman: Arkham City and Battlefield 3.


Talking Cave Johnson portrait from Portal 2? Yes, please!

Christmas is coming folks. I think it's time for me to start thinking about my wish list. Allow me to show you gift idea number one: the talking Cave Johnson portrait from Portal 2.

Walk past it or push a button , and Cave will immediately inspire you with words of wisdom. Like what to do with lemons...

It certainly is far cooler than some talking fish.

Anyway, you can nab this amazing peice of gamer art over at


Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Game of Thrones - the 16-bit version

What if HBO's Game of Thrones was an 16-bit RPG akin to a Final Fantasy game? Well wonder no more.

Recently I've begun watching HBO's amazing medieval fantasy series, currently being little over halfway through the first season. (I blame my friends for getting me hooked). So seeing it converted to a 16-bit RPG - even if it is a fake one - just ups the awesomeness of this series for me.

A word of warning: if you have yet to watch this fantastic series and have been considering watching it or perhaps you are only part way through the first season, you may want to finish before watching this as a few major plot points are humorously spoiled. I unfortunately found this out the hard way. Whoops.

But damn if it wasn't worth it.


Thursday, August 4, 2011

The most frightening mod I've ever seen

While I may be a console fanboy, I'll always tip my hat to one of PC gaming's greatest advantages over console games - modding. Console titles are, for lack of a better term, inflexible. What you buy is what you get - unlike PC titles, which occasionally have whole communities dedicated to creating some of the most amazing mods for PC games. 

I'm sure some of you remember the Goldeneye: Source project where a group of individuals used modding tools to recreate Goldeneye 64 using Half-Life 2? 

While that project was an amazing feat of dedication and talent showcasing the true potential of what modding can offer, occasionally someone comes along and reminds us that there is a opposite end of the spectrum by creating a mod far more terrifying than it should be. 

I give you...."The Silly Adventure of Mr. Mochi".

I honestly don't know whether to be laughing uncontrollably, or curled up in a corner sucking my thumb.


(I think...)

Friday, July 22, 2011

I dare you....

Do you happen to have ten hours to spare? Then I dare you to sit through this:

YouTube user TehN1ppe has created probably the greatest challenges ever on the Interwebs; ten hour videos showing or playing the same monotonous music or action, uninterrupted.That's right - it's ten hours of "Do a barrel roll!" Over and over and over and over...well, I think you get the point.

I've actually heard of this guy and his videos before, but Kotaku recently ran an article recapping his collection and reminding me of the horrors they represent. Some of his videos include the Super Mario Bros. theme song, the Potter Puppet Pals, Peanut Butter Jelly Time, and two of my personal favorites - Epic Sax Guy and Justin Bieber getting shot on CSI - all for ten hours straight.

So I present you with a dare: do you think you could make it through just one of them?

~Enjoy! (I think....)

Monday, July 11, 2011

15 minutes in the world of Bioshock: Infinite

Rarely does the phrase "spoiler alert" hold so much meaning. Admittedly when I first watched this, my jaw hit the floor with a thunderous sound that could be heard for miles. Given the "amazing-ness" of what lies within these 15 minutes, perhaps a little spoiler may be worth it. Purists, feel free to move on.

Now if you'll excuse me, I must go reserve this.


Thursday, July 7, 2011

Swamp Ass PSA

I now have my new, official reason (read as "excuse") whenever I lose at a video game - swamp ass. It affects us all.

Yes, you could use a hair dryer. Or you could use a slightly quieter method: shove an ice pack down your backside. You can then wedge your soda between the pack and your pants, doubling it as a can cooler.


Friday, July 1, 2011

The Office - Metal Gear'ed

I like The Office. And I love the Metal Gear Solid series. So obviously this amazing crossover film-ette by Blue Core Studios was right up my alley:

If it isn't one Big Boss, it's another. Am I right?

I can only hope that whatever office job I land some day will have a guy like this working there. Otherwise, I just might have to take up that bandanna myself. 


Thursday, June 23, 2011

Video Games....out of context

I'd' like to take just a  second here to say welcome to "Video Games....out of context."

As we all know, taking something out of context is always funny. Sometimes it's because of something that's said; sometimes it's out of something seen; and sometimes it simply comes from an awkward silence.

In this case, it's both pictures and words:

This screen shot comes from a PS2 classic, Okami; it's a great game, and I highly recommend it. It also has one of my favorite moments of "out of context" in a game.


Friday, June 17, 2011

Ubisoft's "Mr. Caffeine" - I said there would be videos of this guy!

When Ubisoft took to the stage during last week's E3, they brought out their hype guy, Mr. Caffeine. A jackass of a host so annoying, so painful to listen to, I swear someone somewhere stabbed a kitten.

I commented on this personna host on Facebook while watching Ubisoft presentation, and eventually stated "There will be Youtube videos of this guy. I guarantee it."

And now, here they are. Oh dear gawd...


Ubisoft E3 2011 - Mr. Caffeine

E3 2011: Ubisoft's Mr. Caffeine (Jastuk55 short remix)

These are just a few of the videos out there, but I think these are enough to wreck your day.

(Thank you to those on YouTube for uploading these...special...videos.)

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Quickly brushing away the shine of the Nintendo Wii U

The following rant stemmed from an e-mail conversation between myself and a few friends. While my initial reaction towards the unveiling of the new Wii U was filled with excitement and "Oooos" and "Aaaaaas", it was a blinding excitement that I quickly wiped away after I had a few moments to really think about a few things. Feel free to chime in with your thoughts. 

While my first reaction towards the Wii U and the controller was "Oh, that looks awesome", I've had some time to think about it and now I'm thinking, "Why the f!ck can't I just use a 3DS as a controller?! So far, with the exception of two shoulder buttons, they sound pretty damn similar!"

Yeah, yeah - I'm certain that there are some tech-spec differences. But still - I'm certain Nintendo can stop jerking us around and make something simple for once.

"Here's a console, and it's up to date with current tech. And here's the controller. No, ALL of the controller. We didn't strip the damn thing down and plan to sell you the rest of it over the next few years. It's all there."

I mean honestly, if you ever sat down and figured the real cost of controller for the Wii, you'd probably crap yourself. I've discussed this before, but just in case you missed it:

At first, it was just the Wiimote, chuck, and classic controller. For all three, it would cost you $80. Already more expensive than a controller for both the PS3 and the Xbox 360.

Then they introduced the Wiimotion Plus, giving the true 1:1 response we should have gotten from DAY ONE!. Anyway, they introduced it, told us that future Wii games would need it (or best be experienced it), and charged us an extra $20. So now we were up to $100 for one controller set; a tad ridiculous.

Yes, eventually the Wiimote and Wiimotion were integrated into one controller, but it took them...what...almost a year and a half to do it? But that still leaves us at $80 for one controller set.

And I'm not going to even go into the other accessories for the Wii, such as the Balance Board, Zapper, and the various amounts of shitty snap-on peripherals that everyone and their creepy uncle made. A Wiimote "football attachment" to create the most realistic football experience ever? Or the "bowling ball attachment" to create the sensation of actually bowling? WTF?

Now with the unveiling of the Wii U - just the controller mind you - I'm already thinking about how much the damn thing is going to cost. Yes, I'm not going to deny that the tech video had me in all sorts of "Ooooos" and "Aaahhhhs", but it's already losing it's glitter. I've taken off the shades, and I can see the reality of what it is, and what it may become.

My thoughts - or predictions, if you will: at first it'll be cool, just as the Wii was. Granted, it'll introduce an entirely new way to play. And hell, I'll probably get wrapped up in all the renewed excitement and buy it myself.

But over time, after the glow fades, people are going to discover the true cost of this thing. Not the console and controller package, but the cost of all the accessories and extra controllers. I've heard and read people call it "like an iPad". How much does an iPad cost? About $400 bucks? So what's the controller going to cost? $100? $150 *ulp* $200 each? Sounds llike a possibility. And that's where it's going to hit people.

So what could save this thing from completely sucking? If a lot of the promises made at E3 today come true. And I don't mean just all the tech demos and concept snippets Nintendo put together to show what it "might" be able to do. I am also referring to the 3rd party developers, and the support they said they want to throw at the system.

Perhaps I still have a bitter taste in my mouth after the Wii, and the overall poor quality of games and support from Nintendo towards hardcore gamers and longtime fans. Yes, there were a few gems floating in that huge pool of casual gaming bullshit. But they were so far and few, I tend to forgot about my Wii, except for when I watch Netflix. Nintendo said that the Wii U" stands for both the casual gamer and the hardcore - a system for everyone.

I hope so. Because the concepts I saw today are in fact very cool. I'd just hate to see them squandered.

Man, I hope I wasn't too harsh...


(video courtesy of IGN)

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Lost in Liberty City? Google Maps can help!

Falling under the category of "too much time on their hands," a handful of individuals over at took it upon themselves to create the most amazing interactive map of a video game - ever - using Google Maps to do so.

Aside from item locations, stunt jumps, "flying rat" locations and other useful info, the map allows you to zoom in all the way down to street level and navigate around Liberty City via thousands of photos, just as you would using Google Maps to explore your own neighborhood, with the exception of that embarrassing photo of your neighbor walking around their yard in their tighty-whiteys.

Once again, it goes to show you that it just doesn't make sense to buy strategy guides anymore. Wait patiently long enough, and someone will come along and make an interactive map a thousand times more superior than any guide book can be. Or at the very least a hastily written guide that will save you from shelling out $20 bucks for the damn book.

Monday, May 30, 2011

The Legend of Zelda, according to Doc Brown

Combining two things that I love - the Back to the Future  trilogy and  the Legend of Zelda games, this fan-made film explains the Legend of Zelda  timeline so well, I doubt Shigeru Miyamoto himself could do any better.

It's almost impossible to describe how much awesome oozes from this video. The Master Sword,  Link and Ganon hurling lightening back and forth, the DeLorean, and a chalkboard with the most complicated timeline ever illustrated. "Epic", while cliche' in use, is probably the most appropriate.

The only fault that I found with this video: by merely mentioning the CDi Zelda games, this video acknowledges their existence; they don't. Nintendo neither speaks of them or acknowledges them, nor should anyone else.


Try to discuss them with me, and I'll find a way to go back in time, date your Mom, ruin her for all other men, thus effectively erasing you from existence.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

If only...

Now, I realize that this picture has been floating around out there for some time. In fact, I recall my initial reaction when I first saw the picture:

"Well that would be frickin' cool!"

However, with the relatively recent death of the music game genre, I don't think we'll be seeing this come to fruition any time soon. And with that death comes the sad realization that my aspirations to be as cool as "Weird Al" Yankovic will remain a fantasy.

Best name for a game....ever.

Hothead Games recently released a teaser trailer for their upcoming third entry into the DeathSpank games. And with it, quite possibly the greatest sub-title for a game. Ever.

If you happened to have skipped over the previous two installments of the games (DeathSpank and the surprising 5-month later sequel Thongs of Virtue), you may want to scope them out. Especially if you happen to enjoy dungeon crawlers such as Diablo; the DeathSpank games are essentially hilarious send-ups of them.

You can grab a copy of both games via Xbox LIVE, PSN, or Steam. Sorry Wii fanboys, but there's just no love for you.